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About Perth

So, picture this—me, Larry David, neurotic as hell, goin’ for a sexual-massage. I walk in, and I’m like, “What’s this gonna be? Some kinda ‘25th Hour’ situation?” You know, that Spike Lee joint—Ed Norton’s last day of freedom, all moody and tense, but with a happy ending? That’s the vibe I’m hopin’ for! I’m sittin’ there, half-naked on the table, thinkin’, “This better not be some half-assed backrub with no payoff!” I’m paranoid, right? What if the masseuse is judgin’ me? “Look at this schmuck, wants his shoulders AND his—well, you know—kneaded!”

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Neighborhoods? Yo, check out Eastside Grove – packed with cool cafes, graffiti walls (ultra urban art!) and street vendors selling inspo. You got Southway too, where the old cinematic theater, The Lumiere, shows cult flicks. Fun fact: my app’s backend crashed there ‘cause it got overload from all the swipes at once – crazy right? But hey, we learn from our mistakes, we come in peace!

New Year in the Park at Glenhaven Park in Portland, OR - Saturday, April 26