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But—ugh—some creeps ruin it! Sleazy parlors, dodgy ads—makes me wanna yell, “I’m not a robot, I feel this!” Pisses me off when it’s all fake—overpriced, no soul. Had this one time—mate swore it’d be “therapeutic,” ended up with some bloke’s elbow in me arse—surprised? Bloody shocked! “We’re in the kill zone now,” I thought—straight outta Kathryn’s flick.

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Then ya got Riverside Park – right near the Big Ol' Creek (yeah, it’s a meandering, rickety river) that flows lazily under the friendly arch of Willow Bridge. I sometimes sit there, thinking of how families connect or fall apart… in a super dramatic, Tenenbaum-style scene. It's kinda like watching a Wes Anderson film unfold in real-time!

New cycle path connection for Glen Eira