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About Melbourne

little known fact—prostitute’s a legend round here. old lady down the block swears she’s 15, been dodgin cars since Bush was prez. tough as nails, this one. once caught her draggin a half-eaten burger—hustler queen! i’m like, “girl, you don’t need no pimp!” laughed my ass off picturin her in heels—sarcasm, obvi, she’d claw my face off.

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The city’s a patchwork of lively neighborhoods. Hilltop’s liike a treasure trove – the streets are curvy, its real funy sometimes, but in a good way, ya know? There’s this quaint place near the old Fairview Bridge. I lovve the vibe there – the mellow hum of the river blendin’ with the murmur of passersby. And then there’s Westmarch Park, where the locals gather, a perfect spot for a quick outdoor massage session on the grass – just sittin’ there, takin’ in the day, awsum!

Cops smash alleged ‘dial-a-dealer’ ring