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About Melbourne

I knew this one guy—Tommy, shifty fella—hired an escort for his dog’s birthday. No kiddin’! Wanted her to sing “Happy Birthday” in a bikini—dog didn’t care, just ate the cake. Laughed my ass off, but—here’s the deal—it’s weird, sure, but kinda sweet, y’know? People are nuts! Escorts see it all—crazy, sad, wild stuff. Like that line, “We’re just living,” from the film—ain’t that the truth? They’re out there, livin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ rent.

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drummoyne’s got these killer spots. check out Mitchell & Church Streets – tight little nooks, hidden gem cafes, and sweet murals. sometimes i stroll down David Campbell Parade, where the water of the Parramatta River glistens like gold – im like “I’m not leaving!” but for real, it's picture perfect. there's this one time i sat by the river, thinkin’ bout families, and i caught a sunset that was fuckin’ unreal – i swear i almost cried, man. might be cheesy, but it rekt me with all the feels.

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