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So, sex-dating – it’s a jungle, fam! Tinder, Bumble, whatever – all horny chaos. Little known fact? Back in the 90s, Russians had these sketchy "marriage agencies" – basically sex-dating 1.0, but with dodgy Polaroids! Proper retro, eh? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ some babushka’s pimpin’ out Svetlana with a fax machine. Nowadays, it’s all apps – swipe, sext, shag. Easy peasy. But here’s the kicker – studies say 1 in 5 matches actually meet IRL. Rest is just dick pics and ghostin’. Pisses me off, that! Wasted potential, innit?

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I’ve been around these blocks for yonks. Gotta tell ya, it's a labyrinth of alleys and neon lights. Hey, ever wandered down Montague St? Pure magic, if ya don’t mind a bit of grit. So many secrets, like that quirky old café on Carlisle St – oh man, memories!

Theory emerges on Ford’s Albert Park slump