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About Vienna

Srsly, tho, it’s wild how it sneaks up on ya. One sec you’re tense, next sec some stranger’s knuckles are deep in your glutes, and you’re like, “I guess this is my life now!” Reminds me of *Boyhood* again—Patricia Arquette going, “I just thought there would be more.” Except with a good erotic-massage, there IS more—more goosebumps, more “oh shit” moans you didn’t plan. Pro tip: find a spot that uses warm stones. Sounds bougie, but when they slide ‘em down your spine? Dead. Deceased. Tina Fey’s outta here.