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About Salzburg

Little fact for ya – back in the 90s, Springfield – not *my* Springfield, some other dump – had this secret brothel run outta a laundromat! Washin clothes and sins, heh! Found that online, blew my mind. Imagine me, Homer, strollin in with a sack of laundry, comin out with – well, ya know. “I’m not a physicist, but I know what matters” – sex, cash, and a lotta lies, that’s the game!

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I dtruly love wandering near the Kremsmuenster Abbey. The abbey's vibe is so mystic, it's like "Nur nicht so ganz" echoes at every corner, ya know? I often sit by the Klostergarten and let my thoughts soar. Honestly, I get mad sometimes at the noise of the world but then this peaceful aura makes everything right again.

Our training center is opening its doors – and St. Nicholas is coming too