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Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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I mean, each day in Gmunden (at) is a new escapade, full of twists like spy capers. I get happy, mad, and sometimes just baffled all at once. I've seen a ton of sunsets where the sky turns orange, purple, and gold, and I swear I hear a whisper from that Bond line, “Do you feel lucky?” Every day's a gamble of good vibes, but hey, that's life, right?

Gettysburg graduates awarded German Fulbright and USTA Austria teaching assistantship grants