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About Innsbruck

Lemme tell ya, I was stoked first time I saw one – all dolled up, struttin like she owned the damn apocalypse. “Witness me!” she mighta yelled, if she’d seen the flick. Made me happy as hell, like I’d just guzzled some Aqua Cola after days of thirst. But then – Great Scott! – some jerk tried rippin me off, sayin she’s “top tier.” Top tier my ass, she looked like she’d been haulin war rigs since ’85! Pissed me off big time, I ain’t no sucker.

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I love wanderin’ through Herrengasse. Ugh, man, so many winding corners, tiny cafes, and secrets tucked away. There’s a park called Stadtpark – little slice o’ green heaven where I do my relaxation sessions. Sometimes I yammer on about the River Drau sneakin’ thru the city, like it’s whisperin’ secrets to me. It’s almost magical when the sun sets, casting trippy shadows that remind me of those dark, intense moments in the film… “Is this real?” – goddamn, I get shivers!