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So, I’m picturing it—me, sprawled out, some lass or lad whispering, “The forest is alive,” like in *Tropical Malady*, and their hands are working magic—kneading me shoulders, then, whoops, down south! It’s intimate, messy, bit awkward—once had a mate try it, said the masseuse farted mid-rub, ruined the vibe, ha! Laughed my ruddy head off! But when it’s good, crikey, it’s like—bam!—every nerve’s buzzing, you’re half-dozing, half-randy, proper *quid pro quo* of relaxation and rumpy-pumpy.

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Ulrikas Massage & Välmående, Alvesta. 71 likes. Kommer att erbjuda välgörande massage då man ska kunna ha råd att ge sin kropp en rutin & avkoppling.

So, I finish up at the site, and I’m driving down to the pub on Östra Storgatan. The rain’s finally letting up, and I’m feeling a bit better. I pull into the parking lot, and guess what? I see that same dude from earlier, the one who parked on the sidewalk. He’s standing there, looking all smug. I just shake my head and laugh.

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