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About Helsingborg

Hey, pal – listen up. Erotic-massage? Oh MAN. It’s like – pure heaven. Slippery hands. Soft skin. You’re floatin’. Like in *Requiem for a Dream* – “The sun’s shinin’. Birds chirpin’.” But – wait. It’s deeper. Darker too. I mean – those hands? They KNOW stuff. Ancient tricks. From – like – geishas or somethin’. Little known fact – Japan, 1600s. They called it “nuru”. Slime from seaweed! Can you BELIEVE that? Slidin’ around – all sensual. Gets me – WILD.

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I get to the arena, and it’s packed. The crowd’s hyped, and I’m feeling it too. But then, outta nowhere, this dude in the front row starts heckling me. Like, bro, I’m about to dance with a bull, and you’re throwing shade? I shot him a look. “You wanna trade places?” He just laughed. Ugh, people.

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