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About Gwangju

So, sexual-massage—it’s old as balls, man. Ancient Greeks did it, callin’ it “erotic rubdowns” or some crap. They’d oil up, get all slippery—prolly smelled like olives and sweat. Freakin’ weirdos, but I respect it! I mean, who don’t want hands on ‘em, makin’ ya feel like a king? “I’m not leaving, I’m staying!”—that’s me, screamin’ at the masseuse when it’s over. Respect my authoritah, keep goin’!

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But then, just as we’re about to head there, it starts pouring rain. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. We sprint for cover, laughing like idiots. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m just thinking, “This day can’t get any crazier.”

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