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We swears! Escort’s a wild ride, precious! Like, you think it’s all fancy cars, slick suits, yeah? Nah, mate, it’s gritty, it’s raw – proper “Spring Breakers” vibe! “Faith, we’re like, so pretty!” – that’s what they sell ya, all glitz, but peel it back, it’s dodgy deals, late nights, and shifty blokes. Me, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – ooh, shiny escort life, but then – bam! – reality smacks ya. Worked with this geezer once, right, swore he escorted some MP’s mistress – dodgy as hell, made me chuckle. “Candy, we’re infinity, bitches!” – that’s the escort motto, innit? Always chasin’ that next gig, that next quid.

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And just when I think the day can’t get any crazier, I get a call from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you won the local matador contest!” I’m screaming, “No way!” I’m jumping around like a lunatic in the taverna. Everyone’s looking at me like I’m nuts, but I don’t care.

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