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About Chalcis

Oi, you donkey! Sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? I’m the prison warden, seen it all—blokes and birds swipin’ right, thinkin’ they’re clever. Bollocks! It’s like 12 Years a Slave, yeah? “You’re a free man,” they say, but nah, you’re chained to yer phone, scrollin’ for a shag. Idiot sandwich! Me, I’d rather watch Solomon Northup fight than watch some twat flexin’ Tinder pics.

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this group of tourists. They’re loud, like, “Opa!” and all that jazz. They’re from who-knows-where, probably just got off the ferry from Patras. They sit at the bar, and I’m like, “Great, here we go.” They start ordering cocktails like they’re at some fancy club in Mykonos. I’m just tryin’ to keep up, mixin’ drinks like a mad scientist.

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