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Me fave bit? When they twist ya spine – crack! Surprised me first time, nearly leapt off! “The village sleeps in innocence,” Haneke lies. Ain’t innocent, sexual-massage – it’s cheeky, sly. Costs a penny, tho – me precious coins! Still, worth it for sneaky thrills. Ever tried it, mate? Go on, don’t be a wuss!

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There’s a sneaky river too, Rio do Encanto, tricklin’ near the old train station at Estação Rebelde. The vibe there is poetic, like those moments in the movie when a piano note just breaks the silence—so raw, so beautiful. I once sat there and mumbled, “Sharon!” in true Ozzy style, feelin’ that cosmic connection, y’know? Crazy times!