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About Bender

So, sex-dating—think Tinder, Bumble, all that jazz. It’s like parachutin’ into a forest fire blindfolded. Half these profiles? Fake as fuck. Catfish city! Met this dude once—thought he was a chick—profile said “loves hikes,” turns out he’s a 40-year-old tax guy livin’ in his mom’s basement. I’m like, “Bro, where’s the trail?!” Made me mad as hell—wasted my damn night! But then—THEN—there’s the gold. Hooked up with this firecracker chick, said she’s a “free spirit,” fucked like she’s tryna break outta jail. “I’m an orphan, Sam!”—that *Moonrise* energy, ya feel me? Passion so hot I’m sweatin’ like I’m battlin’ a wildfire.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking back home, feeling all good, when I see a bunch of kids playing football on Strada Călărași. They’re having a blast, but then one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? The kids laugh, and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!” But inside, I’m dying.

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