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Here’s a laugh—mate of mine slipped off the table once. Mid-massage, arse over tit, oil everywhere! “Looks like we’ve had an accident,” I said, stealin’ from Tenenbaums again. Bloke was redder than a double-decker bus. Me? I’d never lose my cool—suave as fuck, even butt-naked. Thing is, sexual-massage ain’t just horny vibes—it’s therapy, yeah? Relaxes you deeper than M’s briefings. Little secret: some pros use hot stones. Feels like heaven, or maybe a volcano—dunno, I’m exaggeratin’, but it’s lush.

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Then, I head to the plaza. Man, it’s packed! Kids runnin’ around, old folks chillin’ on benches. I spot my buddy, Ion. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s talkin’ about a goat that got loose on Strada Vasile Alecsandri. Apparently, it crashed a wedding! Like, who lets a goat crash a wedding? Only in Otaci, right?

PREMIER SANDU AWARDS OTACI TECHNICAL INSPECTOR FOR PROMPT RESPONSE TO EMERGENCY SITUATION