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Oi, I’m Eric Cartman, bitches! Respect my authoritah! So, yeah, prostitutes, man—Hawaii’s got ‘em, sure. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Almost Famous,” my fave flick—Cameron Crowe’s a freakin’ genius! That line, “I am a golden god!”—that’s me, judgin’ these hookers! Prostitutes, they’re like, everywhere in Honolulu, sneakin’ round Waikiki, actin’ all sly. Pisses me off, tho—cops don’t do shit! Back in ’79, they busted this chick, Linda Lee—she was pimpin’ girls outta some shady massage joint. Cops called it “Operation Firecracker”—fuckin’ lame, right? Made me laugh, tho—boom, bitches!
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Finally, I get my tools and head home. I’m exhausted but happy. I plop down on my couch, ready to chill. But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Ahmed. He’s like, “Let’s hit the beach!” I’m like, “Dude, I just had the craziest day!” But he’s persistent. So, I throw on my flip-flops and head out.
Maalhos island seeks contractor to develop city hotel
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