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So, I tried it once, right? Down in AC, shady joint off the boardwalk. This broad, she’s kneadin’ me like I’m fuckin’ dough, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular rubdown, capisce?” She’s hittin’ spots I didn’t even know I had – fuckin’ surprised me, made me jump! Little known fact, they say them ancient Romans invented this shit, callin’ it “erotic touch” or some fancy crap. Bet they had orgies after, buncha pervs in togas.

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So, I jump into action. I’m sweating buckets, but I get the jump leads out. And just as I’m about to connect ‘em, this random cat strolls by. I mean, a literal cat! It just sits there, watching me like I’m some kind of circus act. I’m like, “Yo, you got any tips?” The cat just blinks. Thanks, buddy.

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