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About Rome

So, I tried it once—total impulse, right? This tiny spot, hidden behind a laundromat—sketchy AF, but the vibe? Pure gold. This chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, “Honey, you’re strikin’ oil here!” Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d rub down gladiators—erotic or not, who knows, but it was *intimate*, ya feel? Made me happy as hell—tension gone, like *poof*!—but also pissed me off ‘cause why ain’t this everywhere?

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But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I fall right in front of a group of tourists. They laugh, and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, I meant to do that!” But inside, I’m cringing.