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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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We start chatting, and outta nowhere, this random dog runs up to us. It’s a fluffy little thing, and I’m like, “Aww, cute!” But then it jumps on me, and I’m covered in mud. Great. Just what I needed. Jeroen’s laughing his ass off, and I’m just standing there like a wet mop.

Riejanne Markus takes solo victory at Veenendaal-Veenendaal Classic