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But, ugh, the smell—stale beer and desperation? Gross af. I’m, like, “This ain’t glamorous, hunny!” I wanted drama, not stank. Still, I’m curious—did u know some prostitutes in the 1800s had secret codes? They’d wink twice or some shiz to signal clients. I’m dying, that’s so extra! I’m, like, “Teach me, queen!” She’s all, “Nah, u too loud,” and I’m cackling—me, loud? Totes fair.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We got a situation at the square.” Great. Just when I thought I could relax. I rush over to Trg bana Josipa Jelačića, and it’s chaos. A protest or something. People shouting, holding signs. I’m thinking, “What now?”