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Quirk time: I hum while it happens. Can’t help it. Old habit—choppin’ trees, hummin’ tunes. Prolly annoys the masseuse. “Shut up, lumberjack!” she’s thinkin’. Whatever, lady, keep rubbin’. Oh, and the oils? Smell like pine—my kinda forest porn. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But one time, swear to God, I nearly fell asleep. Then—snap—back to reality. “This isn’t Brooklyn,” I mutter. No sweet Irish girl here. Just me, oiled up, feelin’ weird.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna hit up the local pub later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” I need a drink after this rollercoaster of a day.

Soviet monument disappears from Alūksne municipality / Article