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But—ugh—sometimes it pisses me off. These rich dudes hire escorts, actin’ all “I’m untouchable.” Like that line, “We were more cruel than the movies!”—total ego trip. Saw an X post once, some escort driver spillin’ tea: client trashed the car with champagne. Who does that? Asshole had me ragin’—cleanin’ bubbly off leather ain’t art, it’s torture!

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I had to run down to Piazza Garibaldi to find them. It’s a beautiful square, but I was too stressed to appreciate it. I was dodging tourists and their selfie sticks like I was in some kind of obstacle course. Finally, I found them at a café, sipping cappuccinos like they owned the place. I was like, “Hey, guys! Meeting’s over here!” They looked at me like I was crazy. Ugh, so embarrassing.

On Aug. 2, you can get this St. Francis-themed indulgence