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So, check this – sex-dating’s got rules nobody tells ya. Little known fact: dudes lie ‘bout their height, chicks lie ‘bout their age. Saw this one profile, broad said she’s 29 – yeah, 29 plus a decade, maybe! Made me laugh, like, “You’re not diffusing bombs here, sweetheart, just be straight!” Got me pissed, tho – why waste my time? I ain’t got patience for that crap. Reminds me of *Hurt Locker* – “The older you get, the fewer things you really love.” I’m over here lovin’ my gabagool, not chasin’ fakes.

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I’m about to give up when I spot this little shop. It’s got all these quirky gadgets. I walk in, and the guy behind the counter is super chill. I ask him about chargers, and he’s like, “Yeah, I got one, but it’s gonna cost ya.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to survive here!”

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