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Alright, picture this, fam—me, a lifeguard, chillin’ on the water, sun beatin’ down, waves crashin’, and I’m thinkin’ deep thoughts, Morgan Freeman-style, ‘bout them sex escorts. Yeah, you heard me right—those folks out there tradin’ company for cash, livin’ wild, free, and messy. Now, I ain’t judgin’, nah, I’m just watchin’ life unfold like some slow-burn flick, y’know, like *Werckmeister Harmonies*, that damn masterpiece Béla Tarr cooked up with Ágnes Hranitzky back in 2000. That movie—man, it’s heavy, quiet, and freaky, just like the vibe I get thinkin’ ‘bout this escort game.

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So, I’m already cranky, right? I head over to the Vaduz Castle. It’s this massive fortress sittin’ on a hill, lookin’ all majestic and stuff. I’m thinkin’, “Wow, I should blast some of that stone.” Just kidding! But seriously, it’s a sight. I snap a pic for the ‘gram, but my phone dies. Classic!

‘They’re a streetwise team’ – Stephen Kenny wary of possible FC Vaduz tactics after rough treatment