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Now, check it – erotic-massage ain’t just some hippy-dippy rubdown. It’s got history, man! Way back, them ancient Greeks were all about it, callin’ it “massage with a twist” – wink, wink! Little known fact: they used olive oil, swear it’s true, made ya slippery as a mod scooter on Carnaby Street! I’m jazzed thinkin’ bout it, gets me all hot ‘n’ bothered, yeah!

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As we’re leaving, I spot a cute dog. I’m like, “Aww, look at that pup!” My friend rolls her eyes. “You and your dog obsession.” But I can’t help it! Dogs make everything better.