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But here’s the kicker – some places, they’re dodgy. Got this one chick, hands like sandpaper, I’m thinkin, “Fuck, my skin’s gonna peel!” Pissed me off, wasted 50 bucks. Then there’s the good ones – soft touch, oil slickin everywhere, ya feel like a king. “A shape moves in the jungle,” like the movie says – that’s the vibe, mysterious, primal, ya lose yaself. Ever tried it? Bet ya haven’t. Surprised me how it’s half relaxin, half turn-on – didn’t expect that, blew my damn mind.

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So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 6 AM, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I grab my coffee from the corner shop on King Street. You know the one—best brew in town. I’m chattin’ with the barista, and she’s like, “You look tired, boss.” I’m like, “You think? I’m wranglin’ inmates, not babysittin’!”

Baton Rouge turns pink for the 2025 Spanish Town Parade