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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m George W. Bush, yer ol’ elevator operator, ridin’ these floors like a dang ol’ Texan cowboy. Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like them oil wells back in Midland! I reckon it’s all ‘bout folks gettin’ rubbed down, but with a twist—makes ya feel all tingly, like when I first saw “Synecdoche, New York”. That movie, hoo boy, it’s my fave—Charlie Kaufman’s a genius, messin’ with yer head like a sexual-massage messes with yer… well, ya know.

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But then, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me! I’m sprawled out, and people are staring. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying. “Great, just great,” I think.

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