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Angry part? The stigma. Pisses me off – they’re hustlin’, survivin’. Happy part? Some escorts love it, own it, like “I am altering the deal, pray I don’t alter it further.” Power trip, ya know? Me, I’m just a vet, stitchin’ paws, but damn, I respect the grind. Sex escort’s a mindfuck, a hustle, a damn good story. *Heavy breathing* Watch “Oldboy,” you’ll get it. Twisted, messy, real.

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Then, I spot my mate, Dave, down by the playground on the corner of Waitoa Rd. He’s tryin’ to impress some girl, but he’s just makin’ a fool of himself. He’s like, “Check out my mad skills!” and then trips over his own feet. Classic Dave. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee. But hey, at least he’s tryin’, right?

Protesters force Wellington tunnel to close