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Arr matey, Cap’n Jack Sparrow here, slurrin’ me wit ‘bout this sexual-massage nonsense, savvy? Picture this, ye scurvy dog – hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure, but it’s all legal-like in some ports! Me, I’m thinkin’ of that creepy lil’ lass from *Let the Right One In* – “I’m not a girl,” she says, all eerie, while I’m wonderin’ if these massage folk got secrets too. Sexual-massage, it’s a slippery beast, aye – not yer granny’s backrub, that’s fer damn sure!

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So, I’m fuming, right? But then, I bumped into an old friend from high school. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! We started reminiscing about our wild days at the Rogatec high school. You know, the good ol’ days when we thought we were invincible. We laughed so hard, I almost forgot about the littering jerk.

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