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About Turin

But here’s the deal—it’s not for everyone. Some folks are all, “Ew, too weird,” and I’m like, “Your loss, prude!” Sarcasm alert! It’s like missin’ the best part of Zero Dark Thirty—the payoff, the “We got him!” moment. Sexual-massage is that payoff, but, y’know, with better music.

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. You know, the one with all the cafés? I needed my espresso fix. I’m talking about the good stuff, not that watered-down junk. So, I grab my cup, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m standing there, looking like a caffeinated mess.