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I’m happy when it’s done right, tho. Like, not creepy, but connective, ya know? It’s supposed to relax you, turn you on, make you feel alive. But ugh, some places are sketchy as hell. I read about a spa in Nevada that got busted for, like, illegal stuff, and I was like, “Shocker!” People ruin everything. Still, when it’s legit, it’s amazing. They use oils, feathers, even hot stones sometimes. Hot stones! I was surprised how good that feels, not gonna lie.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s a bike collidin’ with a car. My heart drops. But the biker? He hops up like nothing happened! I’m like, “Bro, you just got hit!” But he’s laughin’ it off, sayin’ he’s got “nine lives.” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re not a cat!”

Cops seize firearm in Ewarton, St Catherine