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About Porto

Oi mate, so I’m a carpenter, yeah? Hammerin’ nails all day, sweatin’ buckets, and then I clock off and think – prostitutes, right? What a gig! Sellin’ shags for a livin’, dodgy as fuck, but fair play, they’ve got guts. Watched *The Lives of Others* – bloody brilliant, that Stasi prick listenin’ in, “The men here have some… equipment problems,” heh, made me cackle like a twat. Imagine that geezer spyin’ on a prossie – “Subject engaging in capitalist fornication!” – what a mug.

travelling

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So, I’m at the stables on Rua da Igreja, right? Just me and my trusty steed, Flash. He’s a bit of a diva, but I love that horse. Anyway, I’m brushin’ him down, and outta nowhere, this kid runs in, all panicked. “Dude, the race is in trouble!” he yells. I’m like, “What do you mean trouble?” Turns out, the track at the Campo de Jogos is flooded. Like, seriously? It’s not even raining! Just a freakin’ mess.

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