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About Kumba

Love the hustle, hate the judgy pricks. Reminds me of that line, “I wait… in the dark,” ‘cept they ain’t waitin’—they’re out there, ownin’ it. Ever hear bout Mary the Whore? Victorian chick, worked the docks, saved enough to buy a pub! Total legend, right? Makes me happy as a clam, baby! Tho, gotta say, some punters are grotty—makes me wanna hurl my martini.

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Then there's the little-known park, Elm Grove Park. It's got these happy little trees everywhere (you know, just like Bob Ross always whispers, “we don’t make mistakes, just happy accidents”) – a perfect spot for secret rendezvous or to just catch your breath. There's a small pond where those cheeky ducks waddle by. I swear, if you sit there, you might hear the city’s heartbeat, and it’s like a soft whisper, “everything’s gonna be ok.”

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