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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in no logbook—did ye know sex escorts in old Venice used to wear red shoes? Aye, markin’ ‘em bold as brass! Made me grin, thinkin’ o’ ‘em struttin’ past them pious nuns. Surprised me, too—thought it’d be all shadows and shame, but nah, they owned it! Reminds me o’ that line, “The fire of courage burns”—them escorts got that fire, I reckon.

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Rue de la Gare, and I spot this old lady. She’s got a garden that looks like a jungle. I mean, I love plants, but c’mon! It’s like Tarzan could swing through there. So, I offer to help her out. She’s all like, “Oh, sweetie, you’re a lifesaver!” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’m a hero today!” But then she hands me a pair of rusty scissors. Like, seriously? I’m not trying to catch tetanus while saving her begonias!

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