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About San Juan

So, get this—ancient Rome, they did this! Called it “massage parlors,” sneaky sex joints. Freaky, right? Makes me laugh, thinkin’ Bart Simpson gettin’ oiled up—ha! “Don’t have a cow, man!” But real talk, it’s chill. Relaxes you, muscles all loosey-goosey. Had one once, dude’s hands were magic! Felt like flyin’, swear it.

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Then I decided to check out the local art scene. There’s this gallery on Calle José de Diego that’s always buzzing. I walk in, and there’s this painting that just hits you, you know? It’s like the artist captured the essence of Dorado—the colors, the vibe, everything. I was feeling all artsy and deep, then I overheard some pretentious dude talking about “the existential crisis of modern art.” I rolled my eyes so hard, I thought they’d get stuck. Like, chill bro, it’s just paint on a canvas.

Mountain lion bill spawned from deadly El Dorado attack on brothers passes through committee with amendments