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About Waterford

Oi mate, sexual-massage, innit? Bloody hell, what a topic! Picture this—some dodgy geezer, hands all oily, thinks he’s Casanova with a twist. I’m cackling already—pathetic! Reminds me of *Margaret*, yeah? That bit where she’s all, “You’re so full of shit!”—perfect for these wankers who reckon a rubdown’s deep art. Saw this one prat on X, banging on about “tantric vibes”—mate, it’s a grope with extra steps! Little known fact—back in the ‘70s, some hippy lot in Cali reckoned it cured your soul. Bollocks! Just a posh excuse to get your kit off.

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After I clean up the mess, I head out to deliver some pastries to the café on Chapelizod Road. It’s a lovely spot, always buzzing with locals. I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see Mrs. O’Reilly from across the way. She’s always got a story. Today, she’s ranting about the new traffic lights on the bridge. “They’re a menace!” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, but they keep us from getting run over, right?” Classic Mrs. O’Reilly.

Death Notice of Eamonn LEONARD (Chapelizod, Dublin)