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Like in my fave movie *Amour*—you seen it? Old folks lovin’ hard, so sweet! “I’ll take care of you,” Georges says—aww, melts my starfish heart! But sex-dating? Psh, it ain’t that! It’s fast, messy, like cargo trucks zoomin’—no brakes! I tried it once, swiped some app—dude, my phone buzzed like crazy! Met this gal, thought she’d be all “let’s cuddle,” but nope—straight to business! Made me laugh, like, “Is this allowed to be *this* quick?”

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By now, I was sweating bullets. The sun was blazing, and I was starting to feel like a fried egg. I took a quick break, just to chill by the poolside. The view of the hills around Rogaska-Slatina is stunning, though. I mean, you got the green hills, the fresh air, and the sound of water. It’s like a postcard. But then, I heard a commotion.

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