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Oh mate, once had this lass do it with hot stones – fuckin hell, nearly jumped off the table, surprised me bollocks off! Felt like a bat outta hell, proper intense. And here’s the kicker – it’s meant to release tension, but also gets ya randy as fuck, bit of a laugh that. Sarcasm? Yeah, “ooh, so relaxin I’m bout to shag the table” – classic.

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Next up, this lady comes in. She’s got this wild hairdo, like she just walked out of a 90s music video. I’m trying to keep a straight face, but inside, I’m cracking up. She wants a trim, but I’m thinking, “Lady, you could start a trend with that hair!” We chat about the best places to eat in Raseiniai. She swears by the kebabs at the corner of Vytauto street. I gotta check that out.

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