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About Kyiv

What pisses me off? The fakers. Some lass actin all sweet, then bam – she’s robbin ya blind. Happened to a mate once – £200 gone, no action. “You are lost,” I told him, quotin the movie, cos he bloody was! But when it works? Oh man, pure joy. Found this bird once – real pro, knew her game. Hair like a supernova, curves warpin reality. “Do you want me?” she asked, straight up Scarlett-style. Mate, I was over the moon – or at least orbitin it!

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After that, I’m feeling kinda bummed, so I decide to hit up the market on Tsentralna Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m wandering around, trying to cheer myself up with some fresh strawberries. But then, I see this old lady arguing with a vendor. She’s all like, “I’m not paying that much for tomatoes!” And I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s inflation, not a tomato sale!”

Ukraine sees influx of Western war tourists