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Oh, and the dumbasses who brag? “I got an escort last night!” Cool, bruh, you paid for a friend. Hope she laughed at your jokes. Sarcasm aside, it’s whatever. Do you. Just don’t be that guy who falls in love. Seen it happen - dude cried when she ghosted. Bruh, it Roscoe. It’s a transaction, fam. Hilarious but tragic.

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Finally, the fire department shows up. They’re all chill, laughing it off. I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and one of the firefighters winks at me. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not in the mood for flirting right now.”