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Here’s the kicker: in old Japan, geishas did this secret style—called “nuru,” all slippery and wild. Bet Larry’d lose his mind watchin’ that, mutterin’, “I don’t deserve this!” Oh, but ya do, mate! Makes me wanna storm a tower and shout, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS up this bliss!” So, next time yer feelin’ like life’s a Coen brothers mess, get a sexual-massage—let it unravel ya, one oily knot at a time. What say you, eh?

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Let one of our angelic sirens wrangle every drop of stress and strain from your aching body. The ultimate erotic massage: Ph (03)

Finally, I finish the cakes and head to the market on Yalta Street. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right, trying to sell my goodies. I see old babushkas haggling over tomatoes, and I can’t help but chuckle. They’re fierce! I set up my stall, and boom! People start flocking to me. I’m feeling like a rockstar.

'We've upgraded a Russian warship to a submarine' - Ukraine Defense Min.