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I tried it, right? Matched this chick—hot, sassy, total vibe. Thought, “I’m in, baby!” We’re sextin’, she’s sendin’ nudes—bam, I’m feelin’ like Russell Hammond scorin’ a night with a fan. Then she bails—poof! Ghosted me harder than a roadie ditchin’ a gig. Surprised? Nah, it’s sex-dating 101—flaky as hell. “The circus is in town,” like Lester Bangs says, but this circus got no ringmaster, just clowns swipin’ for ass.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s super pretty there, especially in the fall. The leaves were all golden and stuff. I thought, “Hey, let’s take a pic for the ‘gram.” So, I’m posing, right? And this random dog runs up and knocks me over. I’m on the ground, laughing and covered in leaves. Classic.

Russian FPV drones struck residential buildings in Seredyna-Buda: fires broke out