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I’m wrenchin’ away, thinkin’, “Groovy, she’s a rebel!” Maybe I’d slip her a fiver, say, “Keep the change, love – you’re fab!” Bit of a laugh, bit of respect. Dunno, mate, she’s got me spinnin’ like a top – sexy, sassy, and a proper mystery. “The plot thickens,” as they say in the movie, and I’m hooked! Yeah, baby, yeah!

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So, I start plowin’ the field, and let me tell ya, it’s like wrestlin’ a bear. The tractor’s bouncin’ all over the place. I’m tryin’ to keep it steady, but it’s like the tractor’s got a mind of its own. I’m sweatin’ bullets, thinkin’ I’m gonna end up in the next county.

Teen footballer earns pro contract