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About Bari

Oh, and the oils—lordy, the smells! Lavender, eucalyptus—fancy shit! Pro tip: dim lights, slow jams, you’re golden. Exaggeratin’ for drama—I’d say it’s better than sex, but nah, it’s *with* sex, doubled up! Sarcasm time: “Oh nooo, a massage, how awful!” Pfft, gimme a break! Sexual-massage is the GOAT—fight me! Spontaneous as hell, messy, real—like me ramblin’ to you now! “Eyes see truth!”—Pan’s vibes say it’s legit. Now, go get rubbed, y’all—live a little!

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After that, I’m on a high. I feel like a hero. But then, the day takes a turn. I see a couple of guys on the beach, drinking beer and being loud. I walk over, and they’re like, “What’s up, lifeguard?” I’m like, “Dude, chill with the drinks. This ain’t a frat party.” They roll their eyes, but whatever.

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