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About Woodlands

The movie again, that scene where they’re by the river, all slow and dreamy—I bet if they had sexual-massage back then, Pocahontas and John Smith would’ve been all, “Let’s connect, baby!” But no, they just stared at each other, which, honestly, is less awkward. I’d rather stare awkwardly than have someone rub me down while I’m stressing about my cellulite.

Practitioners

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After that, I head to my workshop on Balestier Road. It’s a small place, but it’s mine. I’m workin’ on this fancy new model, all sleek and shiny. But then, disaster strikes! My tools go missing. Like, poof! Gone! I’m runnin’ around like a headless chicken, checkin’ under every table, behind every stove. I’m fumin’! Who steals tools in broad daylight?

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