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But yo, what pisses me off? When folks think it’s just a code for somethin’ sketchy. Like, nah, fam, it’s legit—therapeutic AND hot, deal with it! Had this one time, right, went for an erotic-massage, and the masseuse was SO in tune—like she was Remy tastin’ flavors, “A little of zis, a little of zat!”—and I’m layin’ there, floatin’, thinkin’, “This is livin’, man!” Total surprise, didn’t expect to feel THAT relaxed AND hyped, y’know? Probs looked like a doofus grinnin’ ear to ear.

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But then, I saw a bunch of ducks waddling by. They were so cute! I couldn’t help but smile. I mean, who can resist ducks? They were quacking like they were having a full-on convo. I started talking back to them. Yeah, I know, I’m that person. But hey, it’s Cambridge, right? Gotta embrace the quirky vibes.

Cambridge University accused of bullying ‘cover-up’ as internal survey revealed