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About Hamilton

Yo, dude, it’s Bart Simpson here – Eat my shorts! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, man, it’s wild, ok? I’m thinkin’ bout *Spring Breakers*, my fave flick, ya know? “This is the fuckin’ American dream!” – that vibe. Like, me, cruisin’ Springfield, lookin’ for some action. Not that I’d pay for it, duh, I’m too cool. But, like, real talk – it’s everywhere if ya squint.

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Truth be told, doin’ massages in Peace-River taught me to see the little things—like how the local diner on Elm Street makes killer pancakes which gives your soul a hug, or how the scent of the river near the old dock (yeah, that place, real shady but cool) steams your senses like a hot towel over your tired muscles. And seriously, the river, bro—watchin it run past the rugged banks, I sometimes think, “Carol, darling, it’s just too beautiful to be true.”

Former PR Mayor Tom Tarpey passes away.