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Her name’s somethin’ wild—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why the fuck not? Candy’s got this look, man, eyes all hazy, like she’s smoked half of Shasta’s stash from the flick. “The past is a ghost,” she says, leanin’ on a tree, countin’ crumpled bills. I’m like, shit, that’s deep for a hooker! Got me wonderin’—how’d she end up here? Word on the street, she was a runaway, fucked over by some pimp in ‘09. Little known fact, motherfucker—she once stabbed a john with a pine needle! Swear to God, that’s the tale they whisper ‘round the campfire. Crazy, right?

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I’ve had one too many encounters where these seemingly mundane details turned into epic tales of lust, heartache, and absurdity—stuff that makes me crack up and roll my eyes at the same damn time. It’s a place where every corner hides a secret. Every street name—Hauptstraße, Maria-Theresien-Platz, Schwanweg—is a doorway to some scandalous folklore and personal anecdote that’ll make you laugh, cry, or simply shake yer head in disbelief.

Buried in medieval graves, they did not rest in peace